Harry Potter Dating Game
by Miss Cassi
Summary: This is the kind of crap that I thought was funny back when I was 13. Yeah... I was pretty dumb.


Ha ha ha. Okay, yeah. For those of you who don't know my works, then read my other stories! Please??? And review me to, please??  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own the Harry Potter people. Yet.  
  
Harry Potter Daters!  
  
Howdy folks! *Spotlights land on a red headed maiden who walks onto the stage. She has on all green with a large yellow bowtie in her hair* Its time to play The Dating Game! I'm your host, Miss Cassi! We all know the rules to this game, right?  
  
*Audience* Yeah!  
  
*Miss Cassi* Okay, well, for those of you at home who don't know the rules to this game, we take a few random people, one girl and three boys or vice versa and we put them on this show! The person asking the questions does not know who his or her contestants are, but the contestants know who she is! For a prise this round, we will send our first lucky couple to beautiful Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and witchery.  
  
Would our first three contestants come out please?  
  
*Enter three siloettes*  
  
*Miss Cassi* For our first contestant we have the very handsome Draco Malfoy!  
  
*Spotlight hits Malfoy. He looks like he was forced to be aired on the show.*  
  
*Miss Cassi* For our second contestant we have the brave Harry Potter!  
  
*Spotlight hits Potter. He looks confused.*  
  
*Miss Cassi* And for our last contestant, we have the unexplainable Ron Weasly!  
  
*Spotlight hits Weasly. He looks elated.*  
  
*Ron Weasly* Hey cool, I'm on tv!  
  
*Miss Cassi* Yes, thats right! You are infront of millions of tv viewers!  
  
*Ron* Cool...  
  
*All the contestants sit on a stool*  
  
*Miss Cassi* And for our forth contestant, the pretty, smart, witty contestant four!  
  
*Hermione walks out and is hit with the spotlight. She looks around excited for a moment, then walks over and sits down in the lay-z-boy chair*  
  
*Miss Cassi* Okay! Lets start round one of the dating game! Contestent four, it is up to you to ask the questions now! You can ask them up to five questions each, okay? Then you tell us who you want, contestant number one, contestant number two, or contestant number three. Let 'er rip!  
  
*Hermione shifts nervously in the recliner* Contestant number one?  
  
*Draco looks bored* Yeah?  
  
*Hermione Granger* If you were a song, which one would you be? And what improvisions to the song would you make?  
  
*Draco* 'If I could turn back time* By Cher. The changes I could make would be 'If I could turn back time, If I could find a way, I would run faster from the people trying to catch me today.'  
  
*Hermione* Exciting! Contestant number two?  
  
*Harry* Yes?  
  
*Hermione* If you were a desert, which one would you be and why?  
  
*Harry* Hmm... Probably a chocolate frog because I got a lot of kick in me!  
  
*Hermione* Yummy! Contestant number three?  
  
*Ron has dozed off*  
  
*Hermione* Contestant number three?  
  
*Miss Cassi slaps Ron* Yes?  
  
*Hermione* There you are! Okay, if you could have any job you wanted, what would you do?  
  
*Ron thinks* I would be a quidditch master.  
  
*Hermione* Hmm... Okay. Contestant number one. If you could be any kind of animal, what one would you be and why?  
  
*Draco* I'm not sure. I suppose I would be a white stallion with silver eyes.  
  
*Hermione* Beautiful! Okay, contestant number two, what do you want to be for Halloween and why?  
  
*Harry* I want to be pirate. I'm not sure why. I just really like them.  
  
*Hermione* Okay... Contestant number three. How often do you sleep and do you snore often?  
  
*Ron is asleep again. He snores very loud and mumbles something about being head boy*  
  
*Hermione* That answers my question with a depth you couldn't imagin. Contestant number one. What kind of legendary race do you think you should be? When I say that, I mean like a Dwarf or a Hobbit.  
  
*Draco* I would have made an excellent elf, I think.  
  
*Hermione* Ooh! Wonderful! Contestant number two, what is your favorite song ever, and what are some of the lyrics?  
  
*Harry* Easily by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Lyrics? 'Throw me to the wolves because theres order in the pack, throw me to the sky because I know I'm coming back. The story of a woman on the morning of a war, remind me if you will exactly what were fighting for.'  
  
*Hermione* That sounds vaugely familiar... Contestant three, do you like cats?  
  
*Ron* I like all cats except for Hermiones stupid cat Crookshanks.  
  
*Hermione fumes* Contestant number one?  
  
*Draco is knocked back by Hermione's anger* Yeah?  
  
*Hermione, who has figured out it is Ron* Do you like Ron Weasly?  
  
*Draco* No. Not in a million years.  
  
*Hermione* Good. Contestant number two, which sport are you?  
  
*Harry* Oh, Definately quidditch.  
  
*Hermione* Okay, *looks bored* Contestant three? What kind of wild animal are you?  
  
*Ron* I am a sloth 'cause they like to sleep.  
  
*Hermione curls her lip in disgust* Lovely. Contestant number one? What kind of game are you?  
  
*Draco* I am definately chess beacuase you have to think to win.  
  
*Hermione* Can I stop asking questions now?  
  
*Miss Cassi* Hey, I said you had to ask up to five questions. You could have stopped on your first for all I care.  
  
*Hermione* Then I choose contestant number one!  
  
*Miss Cassi* Okay then. Lets show her who she didn't choose! Contestant number two, please step out!  
  
*Harry walks from behind the curtain* Hi Hermione.  
  
*Hermione* Hi Harry. *They embrace*  
  
*Miss Cassi* Contestant number three!  
  
*Ron wakes up and walks out from behind the curtain* *Hermione slaps him upside the head for being stupid*  
  
*Miss Cassi* And lets show the lady who she won one date with!  
  
*Draco walks out from behind the curtain*  
  
*Hermione yells* Draco?!?  
  
*Draco rubs the light out of his eyes. He looks at her as his eyes focus. He sees her and runs away out the door*  
  
*Miss Cassi* Hey! What about your trip to Hogwarts???  
  
*Hermione* Two things. One- we hate each other. Two- thats out school any way. We live there practically!  
  
*Miss Cassi smiles* Not my problem! Okay, round two! *Miss Cassi tells Hermione that she wins a different prize- All of her books for the next two years bought and paid for* Can we have our next contestant please?  
  
*Three siloettes enter*  
  
*Miss Cassi* For our first contestant we have our very own teacher of potions, Severus Snape!  
  
*Severus stumbles out and has the light shine on him. He is obviously drunk*  
  
*Miss Cassi* For our second contestant we have our very own house-elf, Dobby!  
  
*Dobby walks out and has the light shine on him as he waves hystarically* Dobby is happy to be here!  
  
*Miss Cassi* And for our last contestant, the very fired Gilderoy Lockheart!  
  
*Gilderoy walks out confused as the lights shine on him* What am I doing here?  
  
*All of the contestants go/are led to there stools.*  
  
*Miss Cassi* Okay, and for our last contestant we have the purring Contestant four!  
  
*Anamalgus Minerva McGonagal walks from behind a curtain, hops on the recliner, and changes* *She waves*  
  
*Miss Cassi* Okay, you know the rules! Knock yourself out!  
  
*Minerva* Okay, Hello Contestant one!  
  
*Severus* (Hic!) Hello.  
  
*Minerva* Sounds like you have the hicups! Anyway, if you were an anamalgus, what animal would you be and why?  
  
*Severus* I would be a snake so (Hic!) I could slyther into (Hic!) your room at night and (Hic!) (Profanity) you all night.  
  
*Minerva looks disgusted* You need a hobby other than drinking. Hello contestant number two!  
  
*Dobby* Hello Madam!  
  
*Minerva* Aw, how sweet! Anyway, what is your favorite pastime?  
  
*Dobby* Saying bad things about the Malfoys! *Looks shocked at him self* *Stands up, runs over to the wall and starts slamming his head against the wall* Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!  
  
*Miss Cassi retrives him from the wall and puts him back on his stool*  
  
*Minerva* Okay... Contestant three, Hello!  
  
*Gilderoy* Hello Ma'am.  
  
*Minerva* Oh, how sweet! If you were to take me on a date, where would you take me?  
  
*Gilderoy* Well, as I am not sure what I am doing here now, I suppose I would take you back to my ward on the fifth floor of St. Mungos!  
  
*Minerva* Pleasant... Contestant number one, what is your favorite drink?  
  
*Severus* I don't know, but this rum I found was pretty good!  
  
*Minerva mutters 'drunkard' under her breath, then begins questioning again* Contestant number two. What was the most embarassing you have ever done?  
  
*Dobby* Well, once when I was little and didn't realize the importance of masters I made my young masters pants fall off in public and he ran home screeming...  
  
*Minerva* Okay... Contestant three, what do you think is your best feature?  
  
*Gilderoy* I would probably have to say my smile. Woman seem to like it enough...  
  
*Minerva* Oh, how sweet! Contestant number one, what is your favorite desert?  
  
*Severus* Rum suckers!  
  
*Minerva* Errgh... Contestant number two, what song best describes you and who is it by?  
  
*Dobby* I'm a slave for you by Britny Spears.  
  
*Minerva* Hmm... Entertaining... Contestant three, how do you like to spend your Christmas?  
  
*Gilderoy* With my closest friends and family.  
  
*Minerva* Awh, sweet! Okay, I have made the best decision that I could make.  
  
*Miss Cassi* And?  
  
*Minerva* I choose contestant three.  
  
*Miss Cassi* Okay, lets show her the losers! Contestant number one?  
  
*Severus stumbles out drunkenly and leans on Miss Cassi for support* Did I win?  
  
*Miss Cassi* No. Contestant number two?  
  
*Dobby runs out and makes Severus dissapere* Yes?  
  
*Miss Cassi* You are free to go home now.  
  
*Dobby snaps his fingers sadly and dissaperes*  
  
*Miss Cassi* Lets show her who she chose! Contestant three?  
  
*Gilderoy walks out innocently and confused* Did I win?  
  
*Miss Cassi* Yes you did! Congradulations!  
  
*Gilderoy smiles dazelingly*  
  
*Minerva* Oh yeah, thats my luck. Okay, lets get this over with.  
  
*They leave*  
  
*Miss Cassi* Okay folks! Thats all the time we have! See you next time when we find the fellowship fighting over each other! 


End file.
